It isn't bad at all. I haven't finished reading yet ... I think it's good to have humour/double entendre. I was a Batman and Superman Comic fan as a kid - it's how I learnt to read. The stories were full of that sort of thing. Do you know about MONOMYTH? [link] That's a good start. JK Rowling is said to have used that structure too. It's the basic structure for success. I think it's deeply embedded in our genetic memory to want a monomyth. It may help with your structure if you don't already know about it.